Finding a Therapist Who Treats Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Once diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder, many people seek help from a therapist. But how do you find a good therapist, and what traits and training should they have to deal with your issues successfully?
This article will focus on finding a therapist, what traits to look for, and how to keep healing even if your therapist is no longer there.
Traits of a Great Therapist
Not all therapists think alike or have the traits you might seek, but you can judge this for yourself. Most therapists will allow you to see them once to see if you prefer them or wish to move on to another therapist.
There are at least eight valuable traits that make a great therapist. It is important to note that initially, you might not like your therapist or like them too much. Both are reasons to regroup and try to put the therapist in perspective.
Therapists are just people with licenses.
The nine characteristics of a great therapist are below.
- Willingness to validate their clients. Validation, in this sense, means that the therapist believes in your ability to grow, change, and heal.
- The therapist tries to understand your world. You and your new therapist have many differing traits, including religion, minority, sexual orientation, and family of origin. A great therapist seeks to lay aside their own biases and works well with you.
- They do not feel they are or act superior. A great therapist does not believe they are superior in intelligence, economic affluence, and other areas. These therapists treat their clients with dignity and respect.
- A great therapist has deep self-knowledge and understanding. These counselors look at themselves realistically and exude confidence. Many therapists have undergone psychotherapy themselves as part of the training they receive.
- Great therapists have firm and clear boundaries, which are vital for their clients’ healing and as protection for themselves. A reasonable boundary is a limit set to keep the therapist from being manipulated or violated.
- A good therapist isn’t afraid to challenge you. Upon entering therapy, many have confusing and ineffectual beliefs about the world about them. These challenges buck against what you have learned about yourself and your current thoughts. For example, your therapist will introduce you to gray if you suffer from black-and-white thinking.
- Therapists who are good at what they do would never, ever allow a sexual relationship to form between you and them. The therapeutic alliance is personal and intimate, and sometimes clients mistake caring for love. A good therapist quashes any budding sexual relationships and sometimes must refer you to someone else.
- Great therapists have a deep-seated belief that their clients can get and are getting well. Without this belief, the therapist is useless to you because, like many other people, the therapist cannot hide their disbelief. Their disbelief that you can heal shows in their body language and how they treat you. If you find a therapist who has categorized you into a diagnostic lump and does not believe you can improve, it is time to search for a new therapist.
- A good therapist is trauma-informed, meaning they understand, anticipate, and respond to your issues and expectations. They understand the needs of someone who has been victimized and are aware of trauma’s consequences and how it affects your life and relationships. A trauma-informed therapist seeks to do no harm, avoids re-traumatization, and seeks to watch out for blaming you for your trauma reactions.
If you find a therapist who meets at least most of the traits listed above, catch them! Good therapists are hard to find, especially in rural America.
Traits that Tell You That You Need to Leave
There are times when it becomes necessary to leave the therapist you have chosen. This transition is challenging as you have invested much in the therapeutic alliance and told your intimate secrets to them. However, there are times when you must leave and say goodbye to your therapist.
- You feel judged and misunderstood.
- You feel too overwhelmed.
- You feel you are not getting better under their care.
- You leave appointments feeling defeated and invalidated.
- You must repeat stories because your therapist cannot remember what you said.
- You cannot afford therapy anymore. It’s time to seek one that you can afford.
- You don’t feel safe, motivated, or comforted by your therapist.
There are positive reasons you may choose to leave your therapist, including the following.
- You feel you have developed all the tools you need to move on.
- You feel you have reached the goals you were working on
It isn’t necessary to see your therapist in person to leave them. Instead, send them an email, letter, or text but don’t leave them wondering what happened to you. They do have feelings, and a good therapist treating CPTSD or conditions such as dissociative identity disorder long-term will be left wondering what they did wrong.
When Your Therapist Leaves You
A therapist must leave you for many reasons, including a family death or retirement. No matter the reason, because you have invested hours and hours telling them your intimate secrets and wishes, a therapist leaving stings.
Most of the time, your therapist will begin preparing for their departure as soon as they decide to leave. If your therapist is getting ready to retire, they will know sometimes a year ahead. Your therapist must tell you as soon as possible so you can begin the difficult task of mourning your loss.
Your therapist may spend the rest of your time together concentrating on their leaving instead of the therapy they would typically offer. It is best if you and your therapist don’t begin exploring new issues because they will not be there to help you integrate that experience long-term.
Remember during the leaving process that your therapist is a human being with needs. If they are retiring, they need to rest. Some therapists have worked for decades treating clients and listening to their problems. They deserve to leave their practice.
You might experience a feeling of great loss due to your therapist leaving. Because it is a serious loss, you may find yourself experiencing the five stages of grief. You may want to increase your exposure to friends or family at this time or find a hobby that will give you a distraction while you are searching for a new therapist.
Whatever you do, do not decide to try to heal on your own. It won’t work. You will just end up with a mess that only a good therapist could unravel.
Finding a therapist
Finding a therapist is difficult today because there is such a shortage of therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists. This shortage leaves potential clients on long waiting lists, which is not helpful, especially if you have feelings of self-harm or destruction.
One helpful thing in finding a therapist is having an idea of what it is you want from them. Do you have a specific problem, such as needing to lose weight or wanting to work on childhood issues? Have no fear; knowing and understanding what you want from a therapist is not critical, as many begin treatment just knowing they don’t feel emotionally well.
You need to examine how much you can pay. Will your insurance cover what you need? Will you need to pay as you go out of pocket? Most insurance requires a referral from your doctor. If you find you cannot afford traditional therapy, you might try therapists who exist only online. Their rates can be much lower than in-person therapists.
You can also reach out to your county mental health facility, as they often offer sliding-scale rates.
It is vital to check with your insurance company and determine what mental health benefits they cover.
Where to Find a Therapist
There are many ways you can find a therapist. You can go online and get help from many therapeutic opportunities. While you won’t be meeting a therapist face-to-face, telehealth is popular with many people as an alternative to reaching help that is located many miles away.
Consider calling your insurance company to ask who they recommend you see in your area. That phone call can save you a lot of headaches, and you can be sure the therapist you choose is in-network.
Many find-a-therapist sites can help you narrow down who you want to see. These sites are as follows.
These free websites can help you enormously in your search for the perfect fit for your therapy experience.
Ending Our Time Together
Complex post-traumatic stress disorder, like dissociative identity disorder, is life-altering and cannot be healed by the survivor alone. You need the help of a therapist to aid you in gaining life and moving on from the trauma that caused your problems.
With this article, we have examined the traits of a good therapist. Hopefully, you will use this information to help you find someone who is empathetic and a great listener.
We also discussed what to do when your therapist retires or leaves you otherwise. Losing a therapist is highly traumatic and should not be minimized. Sometimes the pain and grief accompanying losing a therapist can last for years, so your new therapist must be aware of that.
As always, I wish you well in your search. There is a shortage of therapists, but you can find the right person for your care with due diligence.
“Words of comfort, skillfully administered, are the oldest therapy known to man.” – Louis Nizer.
“When we’re able to share with someone who we do feel safe with, we can realize that these things that are happening to us don’t make us unlovable and aren’t anything to have as a huge secret and don’t make our future dark and dreary. Actually, we have a really gorgeous future, and we deserve love and safety.” – Johnathan van Ness.
Very well written article! I think one thing my own therapist does that some don’t do is connect wholeheartedly to my physician as well. Its something I feel that is so beyond helpful! Connecting your mental health with your physical health is beyond healing. Having her there when I am frightened or switchy or in pain gives me thw safety and reason to not be afraid. She can acknowledge medical staff on the disorder and help guide them when I have spells. I wish more therapists and Dr’s did this.
I had forgotten that aspect. My therapist was also always in cooperation with my doctor. That’s important. Thank you. Shirley