The Journey to Contentment
In this world we inhabit, there are stresses and pain that can cloud our ability to be content. Instead, we find ourselves caught in a repeating pattern of hope and disillusionment.
This article will focus on contentment, what it is, and how to achieve it.
What is Contentment?
Unfortunately, in our society, people have lost the ability to be content. Contentment is a deep sense of accepting yourself and your environment at any given moment. It is a fact that we humans don’t notice the happiness we have now. Instead, we are focused on the future and what material wealth we might garner.
True contentment doesn’t come from outer things or circumstances; it comes from within oneself and is independent of external circumstances. We often spend our time chasing happiness thinking, “If I just had that job,” or “If I owned that thing,” etc.
Chasing happiness and contentment nearly always leads to dissatisfaction, disconnection from others, and addiction because we’re chasing that high. Actively cultivating contentment leads to gratitude, calmness, and a better peace of mind.
What is Learned Contentment?
Contentment isn’t something you are born with; it is a learned trait that usually is learned from caring caregivers. Learning contentment is a skill that involves accepting who and where you are without dwelling on how you wish you would be.
Obviously, in childhood, you couldn’t and shouldn’t have been content in the home where you experienced horrific child abuse. However, as an adult who can defend yourself, you can learn to accept things and allow yourself to live.
When in therapy for dissociative identity disorder, you face all that happened to you so long ago that it is tempting to think you could never accept what happened. But acceptance is the final stage of healing from DID and must take place so you can move on.
Notice, I didn’t say you had to learn to love what happened to you or agree with the ones who hurt you. I said that now that you are grown, it is time to work through the past and finally, after much hard work, accept it as unchangeable.
Learning Contentment
Perhaps right now in your life, you are in a bad place because of working on your DID issues. You keep thinking that it can’t get any worse, and then a new memory appears, and you find yourself once again struggling.
To become content, it is critical to find a way to change your mindset and learn to appreciate what you have in your life. Yes, I’m talking about a mindset where you are grateful for everything you have and letting go of the things that hurt you.
I know this is easier said than done. I can remember living in a dark place because of the dimness that the memories of my abuse brought. I lived, breathed, and ate trauma, forgetting or ignoring all the things I should have been grateful for. Then, I lost my therapist to bankruptcy, and suddenly, I realized what I had in her and thought I could never get her back. I did eventually, but not before living in the darkness for several years.
My point is this: I learned an important lesson through that ordeal: to be grateful for what I have and to be content. Learning contentment in all things has helped me enormously to heal.
Contentment with DID?
You are or recently have been in pain because healing from DID hurts. However, on your journey, have you experienced glimmers of contentment? Perhaps when you held your child or grandchild for the first time or when you realized you are safe now.
Holding onto that feeling is difficult because of all the bad memories and flashbacks associated with dissociative identity disorder. But you must learn tactics to build on your resilience and create contentment.
One vital way to increase the longevity of your contentment is to do a lot of self-reflection. Self-reflection involves witnessing and evaluating your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. You can learn much about being content by examining when you are not.
Reflect on a time when you were content while ignoring any current emotions. What were you thinking, and what did you believe in that moment? Think of ways to bring back that feeling of contentment, no matter how small, and cultivate it by incorporating that emotion into your life.
Yes, DID is a chaotic disorder, but contentment can smooth the road you must travel to healing and help you reach your therapeutic goals faster.
Ending Our Time Together
I know this is a complicated piece to read because I struggled to write it. I wanted to come across as helpful, not preachy. However, sometimes, it is critical to let others know important information that contradicts their current mindset.
I would never, ever tell you that you will one day enter the promised land where you no longer face issues involving dissociative identity disorder. If there were such a place, I would have reached it by now.
I can promise that if you do not give up on yourself or the healing process, you will one day face your days without constantly being in darkness. One day, the sun will shine, even for the briefest moment, and you will realize you are healing.
Learning contentment is difficult at best when dealing with DID or many other mental health disorders, such as major depressive disorder. However, teaching yourself to be content is critical, even if it is only being grateful for the small things in your life.
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” – Ophrah Winfrey.
“I am content; that is a blessing greater than riches, and he to whom that is given need ask no more.” – Henry Fielding.
I am (we are) learning to be content by verbally acknowledging and giving thanks each day for where we are now and what we have (a safe place to live, healthy food to eat, clean water to drink, clothes to wear, a bed of our own, a caring therapist, and much more). One big thing we are grateful for is when we have a night of sleep free from nightmares, which we pray for every time we are preparing to sleep. When we moved to our current apartment, we had to let go of a lot of our stuff (books, porcelain dolls, framed pictures, most of our bakeware and pans, etc. because the apartment is small and there’s not room for all we had. It was hard and sad, but since we only kept what was really important to us and necessary to have, we are more content because we have less clutter, less to keep clean, less to worry about. I (the adult) am also learning to be content, for now, with being on disability while we address and work through the hardest, worst parts of our past with the help of our therapist. Hopefully, as we get better and stronger, I will be able to be employed again in my former occupation. Anyway, thank you for this post.