The Lie That You Are Defective or Damaged Goods

Posted On March 18, 2024

Dissociative identity disorder is caused by severe and repetitive trauma in early childhood abuse, including sexual, physical, emotional, and verbal plus neglect or all of the above.

 

One of the unfortunate consequences of childhood trauma is that children who are traumatized will often internalize the messages given to them by their caretakers that they are not good enough, that they are defective, or that they are deeply damaged goods.

 

This article will discuss these horrible lies we tell ourselves and ways to combat them.

 

Childhood Trauma

 

A great definition of childhood trauma would be neglect and abuse of any sort, including sexual, physical, emotional, narcissistic, and verbal. Childhood trauma is any event that leaves a person feeling helpless, such as a scary, dangerous, violent, or life-threatening happening experienced by a child.

 

When a child is trapped in an abusive and neglectful home, they internalize the messages they hear from their caregivers. Verbal putdowns and hateful behavior towards the child leave them feeling hopeless, helpless, and having a distorted sense of who they are.

 

If the traumatic experiences are repetitive and disturbing, the adult survivor will form a mental health disorder if not caught and treated soon after the traumatic events.

 

The Long-term Effects of Childhood Abuse

 

 

Many, if not most, people think that an abused child will grow up just fine and they will forget what happened to them. The truth is that although the child, now an adult, cannot remember what happened to them in childhood, the wounds the abuse caused are still raw and covered over with denial.

 

Unhealed childhood wounds manifest in a variety of ways, including feeling afraid all the time, having low self-esteem, living with PTSD, difficulty trusting, and problems forming healthy relationships.

There are signs you can watch for that mean you experienced trauma as a child.

 

You may form Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. CPTSD is a disorder that forms in adults who have experienced chronic childhood trauma. Complex post-traumatic stress disorder has many of the same symptoms as post-traumatic stress disorder, but they are more severe and include symptoms not found in PTSD.

 

The following are symptoms of CPTSD.

 

• Great difficulty controlling emotions
• Feeling angry and distrustful of the world
• Feeling constantly empty and hopeless
• Feelings of being different from other people
• Dissociative symptoms such as depersonalization and derealization
• Feelings of being damaged and worthless
• Thinking that nobody can understand what you went through as a child
• Avoiding relations or finding them challenging
• Experiencing physical symptoms such as chronic headaches, dizziness, stomach aches, and chest pain
• Regularly feeling suicidal

 

Everyone who is a survivor of childhood abuse exhibits some form of symptom that alters their life trajectory.

 

Why Defective and Damaged Goods?

 

 

As mentioned before, parents and caregivers of children who are traumatized by them or not protected by them carry with them into adulthood some nasty messages.

 

These negative messages play in the minds of survivors over and again, and the person experiencing this phenomenon describes it as a cassette tape of negativity playing in their minds.

 

Children suck up negative emotions just as quickly as positive ones. As adults, these survivors may remember only the good things that happened in their childhood or not remember it at all.

 

Messages such as: You are no good, you are a terrible kid, I don’t know why I had you, and you don’t deserve to be my child; leave children down on themselves and see themselves as defective.

 

Only with help can we overcome the messages playing in our minds and altering our lives.

 

How to Heal from Your Thought Processes

 

 

You are NOT a Mistake; You are NOT Damaged or Defective

 

You may not believe me if I say that you are worthy and are not a scourge on earth, but it is true. There is nothing inherently wrong with you; you were a victim of horrendous child abuse that caused you to form dissociative identity disorder.

 

It is time to change how you see yourself and turn off the voices in your head that are telling you that you are a horrible person and that if I really knew you, I wouldn’t like you. I don’t believe that.

 

The first step I took was to get a mirror, lay on my bed naked, and take an honest look at my body. At the time, I weighed around 300 pounds, and I thought I would be disgusted by what I saw.

 

However, after the initial shock, I found that I was no more or less ugly than anyone else. I was a human being, and that made me worthwhile. This discovery that happened deep into my psyche and my alters was a turning point for me on my healing journey.

 

Please consult your therapist before doing the mirror discovery routine. Some of you may not like or may be triggered by the exercise.

 

Ending Our Time Together

 

I am a survivor, and you are too. We are resilient and strong, and it is time we take back our minds from our abusers. Don’t allow them to live rent-free in your head. Tell negative thoughts no and reroute your thinking.

I know that sounds horribly simple, but I know first-hand that it is not. There are some potent emotions and memories attached to dissociative identity disorder. For instance, when I did the mirror discovery routine, I had only begun my journey down the road less taken. I still had years of work ahead of me.

 

Those old tapes playing in your mind telling you that are no good or damaged are lies from the abyss. Don’t fall for it.

 

Talk to your therapist and be honest about what the old tapes in your head are telling you. You can combat the memories, flashbacks, and old messages by beginning to love yourself because you deserve all the love the world has to offer.

 

That is not a lie when I tell you that you are good. You are worthy. You are NOT damaged goods.

 

“Trauma isn’t what happens to you; it is what happens inside you.” Dr. Gabor Mate

 

“Everything that is ‘wrong’ with you began as a survival mechanism in childhood.” Dr. Gabor Mate