Negative Self-judgment and Dissociative Identity Disorder

Many who live with dissociative identity disorder day to day often find themselves bogged down in negative self-judgment. We may think of ourselves only in negative terms and put ourselves down every chance we get.


This article will focus on negative self-judgment and the stinking thinking that goes on to keep us from healing.


I’m So Fat and Ugly



The most common negative self-judgment is our appearance. We may avoid mirrors and not go out much because we don’t want to be seen by others. Perhaps you don’t avoid mirrors, but you look into them and see what you want to see: Someone who is defective.


No matter what you do or what you think about yourself, you can only see in yourself an ugly human being without hope.


The facts are these: you are not ugly or obscene in any way, and you are in control of your body today. Ugliness judges actions, not how you look. You are most likely average for people of this time in history, when Americans are overweight.


Only you control your body today, so don’t sit around weeping and wishing you could be different. Do something. Find a way to get more exercise (which is also good for your mental health) and change your attitude.


To quote Maya Angelou, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”


I Have Dissociative Identity Disorder, and the World Owes Me



Whether you consciously think the above caption, you are not privileged because you have DID. Other people shouldn’t bend backward to make you happy or pay your way.


You and I are adults and entirely responsible for everything we do and say. No matter how many alters we have, we must take full responsibility for what they do and say because they are us, and we are them.


At one time, I lived as though I was somehow privileged because I was pretty ill and overwhelmed with what was happening to me in therapy. I would split into another alter and blame them for what I did. The fact is I was responsible; no one else, just me.


Once I took responsibility for my actions, whether dissociated or not, I gained more power than I ever could have imagined, and my healing took a giant leap forward.


I’m Too Sick with DID to Help Myself



Perhaps one of the most significant flawed thoughts we have as survivors is that we are too ill to change our circumstances and better ourselves. We think we can never go to college, have children, or make a good life for ourselves.


Maybe the prospect of going to college isn’t right for this time in your life, but you don’t need to think of yourself as faulty. The pain and sorrow we experience in therapy is overwhelming at times. Just don’t count yourself out.


Don’t remain trapped in self-doubt and self-pity. Instead, spend your time trying to imagine what reaching your healing goals would be like.


The Damage Done by Negative Self-Judgment



Negative self-talk has many damaging effects that can alter your ability to heal. Not only can it inhibit healing, but negative self-judgment can also lead to other mental health challenges, including:


  • Low self-esteem
  • Anxiety
  • Feelings of sadness
  • Depression
  • Difficulty forming and maintaining relationships.


It may be hard to believe that talking about and to yourself negatively could cause many other problems.


It is not only your mental health that is altered by negative self-talk, as they have long-term effects on your physical health, too. Things like sleep disturbances and a weakened immune system can also happen when you believe and act as though you are flawed.


Negative self-judgment also affects how one interacts with others, making leaders less effective and hindering their ability to manage their lives.


Ending Our Time Together


I wrote this piece to convince all I could that they are not the lost and lonely person they believe they are. There are many ways to fight the negative thoughts that frame the trajectory of your life, and instead of seeing them as impossible dreams, look at them as challenges you will win.


Look, I’ve been there and done that. I used to think I was so ugly no one would ever want to be intimate with me. One day, I got brave and followed my therapist’s guidance and took a mirror to look at myself naked. At first, I was disgusted at my body, but the more I looked, the more I realized that I was just a person who was overweight, not a hideous monster.


I hope you find some help with this piece. It took me a while to write it because it is intimate. I don’t believe you are hideous, either. I believe you are a lovely person with a bright future.


“Aim high, and don’t sell yourself short. Know that you’re capable. Understand that a lot of people battle with a lot of things – depression, body image, or whatever else – so know that it’s not just you. You’re not alone.” Holly Holm


“I battled with my body image for years. I used to tell myself, you can’t wear anything sleeveless or strapless. And suddenly, I was like, “What if I didn’t send such negative messages to my brain and said, wear it and enjoy it?” And now I’m more comfortable in clothes than ever.” Drew Barrymore





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