Severe Illness and Dissociative Identity Disorder

You may have noticed that I haven’t written a piece for a while. I’ve been sick and haven’t had the energy to open my computer and write.


We just found out we have non-alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver, a severe and potentially deadly disorder. It makes me feel weak and nauseous, plus I have pain and bloating from a condition known as ascites, where fluid has built up in my body. Ascites has caused me to gain a lot of weight even though I don’t feel like eating.


I’m not writing this as an excuse for not writing for a while. No, I’m writing to explain what is happening that has prevented me from wordsmithing.


Dealing with DID While Ill

 As you out here who live every day with dissociative identity disorder well know, severe illness, or hell, even a mild sickness, can throw us into a dissociative mess. However, I’ve come far enough in my healing that chaos is not likely to occur.


Now, that may change, but for now, the only DID-related symptom I am experiencing is dissociative amnesia. Granted, it is a pain in the tush to lose recent conversations and events, but I consider that mild.


As I continue to deteriorate, I fully expect at least one alter to join the adventure. We’ll see about that one.


Documenting Illness

I fully intend to continue to document my journey down the road less traveled, no matter where it may lead. I need to show you what it is like to swim the waters of DID treatment successfully and what it is like to experience final fusion.


I will continue to write pieces as I feel up to it, as well as document how it feels to have a potentially deadly disease.


Ending Our Time Together

I would be lying if I said I’m not frightened because I am.


You will find that I’m not only a survivor/thriver but also resilient and strong. Anyone with dissociative identity disorder understands what I am saying.


I have more testing coming up, but my prognosis isn’t good.


Only time will tell.


In the meantime, just like in the song, my book of life isn’t completed yet.






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