Severe Illness and Dissociative Identity Disorder
You may have noticed that I haven’t written a piece for a while. I’ve been sick and haven’t had the energy to open my computer and write.
We just found out we have non-alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver, a severe and potentially deadly disorder. It makes me feel weak and nauseous, plus I have pain and bloating from a condition known as ascites, where fluid has built up in my body. Ascites has caused me to gain a lot of weight even though I don’t feel like eating.
I’m not writing this as an excuse for not writing for a while. No, I’m writing to explain what is happening that has prevented me from wordsmithing.
Dealing with DID While Ill
As you out here who live every day with dissociative identity disorder well know, severe illness, or hell, even a mild sickness, can throw us into a dissociative mess. However, I’ve come far enough in my healing that chaos is not likely to occur.
Now, that may change, but for now, the only DID-related symptom I am experiencing is dissociative amnesia. Granted, it is a pain in the tush to lose recent conversations and events, but I consider that mild.
As I continue to deteriorate, I fully expect at least one alter to join the adventure. We’ll see about that one.
Documenting Illness
I fully intend to continue to document my journey down the road less traveled, no matter where it may lead. I need to show you what it is like to swim the waters of DID treatment successfully and what it is like to experience final fusion.
I will continue to write pieces as I feel up to it, as well as document how it feels to have a potentially deadly disease.
Ending Our Time Together
I would be lying if I said I’m not frightened because I am.
You will find that I’m not only a survivor/thriver but also resilient and strong. Anyone with dissociative identity disorder understands what I am saying.
I have more testing coming up, but my prognosis isn’t good.
Only time will tell.
In the meantime, just like in the song, my book of life isn’t completed yet.
Please take Care, Shirley!!! Lari
Thank you Lari. I appreciate your support.
We will be praying for you, Shirley. We totally understand that it’s no cakewalk to deal with a very serious, painful illness on top of living with DID! Put all your energy into taking care of yourself/selves. Reba et al.
Hey, Shirley, I am so sorry to hear why you haven’t been writing as much. I hope your tests will give you some good news next time. I have heard that the liver can heal itself and I hope that is true. I totally get that you’re not writing as much but just know that you are missed and cherished. Your pieces have got me through some difficult days.
I am praying for you to feel better and have more energy soon. Take good care.
Lizzy x
The type of damage I have to my liver is not curable and will get gradually worse. I appreciate you and all the others that read my blog and desperately need your prayers
I just found out something is wrong with my liver too. I don’t drink either. Stress and anxiety do a lot of damage to the body. Will be thinking about you and praying!
Thank you I’ll be thinking of you too.
Thoughts and prayers with you!!! Take care of yourself first! We can to read your writings.
This is such difficult and sad news, Shirley! I hope you and all of you will get the care, support and understanding you all need! You have left such a trail of good deeds and supportive words, may all the good and more circle back to you! With loving prayers, Noemi
Thinking about you, today, Shirley!
We also appreciate what you are doing in courageously sharing actual experiences. We hope your condition stabilizes or at least gives you long plateau periods now that you are aware and able to consciously include this when calculating energy/capacity each day!