Taking Responsibility for Your Emotions

Posted On June 17, 2024

If you are like me, there are times when my emotions get out of control. We yell at our children or our significant other and feel lousy afterward.

 

When you have dissociative identity disorder, a common symptom is to either thrash out with your anger or push it way down inside you.

 

This article will delve into the empowering journey of mastering your emotions and the multitude of benefits it can bring.

 

You are Responsible for Your Emotions

 

 

How many times in your life have you lost control of your emotions? We let our feelings guide us sometimes, which can be healthy (we’ll explore this later).

 

Emotions are neither good nor bad; humans and most other species experience them as part of their emotional makeup. However, when we are out of control of our emotions, we harm others and ourselves.

 

It does no good for us or those who love us when we act like leopards, growing at everyone and occasionally yelling. Our emotions are harmful when we project them onto someone else or hold them in instead of expressing them appropriately.

 

Emotional Projection

 

 

It is not uncommon for humans to project something we don’t like about ourselves, like anger, or something we feel uncomfortable with, like shame, onto someone else. Usually, we are trying to feel better about ourselves by believing and saying that someone else is making us feel the way we do.

 

Instead of taking full responsibility for our feelings, we deflect them, which can lead to guilt-tripping or gaslighting behaviors, stoking large and heated arguments.

 

Not taking full responsibility for your own emotions and their accompanying behaviors can lead to unhealthy and unstable relationship patterns. By not taking responsibility, you subconsciously change your worldview, making you feel the world is to blame for how you think.

 

For those who, like me, have DID, we blame our emotional states on our alters. However, our alters are not other people; we are deeply connected because they are us, and we are them. Owning our emotions and behaviors is a huge step toward healing.

 

How to Take Responsibility for Your Emotions

 

 

Unfortunately, life is full of things that can make us blow our tops. Doing so definitely pushes all our buttons, and we misbehave. Understanding that no one else can or should take responsibility for your emotions is vital.

 

People who live with dissociative identity disorder already have a heightened level of belief and act as though “it can’t be me; it must be someone else.”  How many times have you blamed lousy behavior on an alter? I know I have many times before I took responsibility for my emotions and behaviors.

 

Taking responsibility for your emotions is enormously influential because doing so makes you realize that no one else can control you, not even an alter.

 

There are several things you can do to help you take responsibility for your emotions. One is to seek professional help to identify why you are trying to control others and learn to know yourself better.

 

Another way to take responsibility for your emotions is to learn to recognize when you are frustrated or angry so you can take a deep breath or two before responding and reacting.

 

The third is to make amends whenever possible. Sometimes, people will not be receptive, or you may have been hurt by that person in childhood and not want to make amends because there are none to make. The people you should apologize to are NOT those who hurt you physically and mentally; instead, I’m speaking of innocent people who accidentally got in your way when you were angry.

 

You MUST take responsibility for your emotions and actions if you wish to go down the road less traveled to healing successfully.

 

The Benefits of Taking Responsibility: Becoming Emotionally Accountable

 

 

Emotional accountability is the act or practice of taking responsibility for one’s own emotions, reactions, and insights. Becoming emotionally accountable can enormously impact oneself and those around you.

 

With good emotional accountability, you have mastered the art of owning your emotions and have learned to express them healthily and constructively. You must recognize and act upon your role in your feelings and how your emotions affect others. This behavior allows for better relationships with us and others.

 

Learning emotional accountability has many benefits, the largest of which is how it builds relationships based on trust and respect. It is much easier and saner to form relationships in which you do not feel compelled to protect your interests by using gaslighting. Gaslighting is when one partner tries to control their partner using anger, lies, and innuendos.

 

Empowerment. Taking responsibility for everything you say and do has many benefits, including empowerment. Once you learn that your alters are you and you are them deep down where it counts and take responsibility for your emotions, you are well on your way to living free of the chaos that accompanies DID.

 

Your relationships will improve. You will no longer blame the people you love for how you feel and respond. Gaslighting will be obsolete when you think you are already in charge and do not need to control others.

 

It helps with work relationships. Taking responsibility for your emotions builds trust and respect in your business or work relationships. Responsibility also encourages self-discipline and reliance on yourself as you are empowered to move on with your life.

 

Ending Our Time Together

 

This piece was meant to make you think about the times you raged at someone or felt it necessary to “put someone in their place.” Anger is expressed in many ways, including passive anger, where you get back at someone by doing minor, aggravating things they must deal with.

 

I understand well how runaway anger can harm you. I was the person who used passive anger and never expressed anger appropriately. As a result, I have no close relationships and have a major depressive disorder, among other ailments.

I am trying to convey that when it is all said and done, we are all responsible for how we behave and feel. No matter what someone does to you to make you lash out in anger, your response makes the difference. You can resolve what has pissed you off, or you can fall victim to your own emotions.

 

I hope this article has helped someone. I write these articles to help people navigate the ins and outs of dissociative identity disorder.

 

I wish you peace.