Hope

Posted On January 18, 2025

These days, many people feel unnerved and without hope. Those who live with the diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder (DID) may feel lost, without hope, and alone.

However, today, in this moment, we are going to discuss hope and how to find it and not despair.

What is Hope

The first topic we should tackle together is to decide what hope means.

It is true that hope means different things to different people, but for now, just for this minute we will explore what Wikipedia says of hope.

Wikipedia states, “Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one’s own life, or the world at large…Merriam-Webster defines hope as “to expect with confidence” or “to cherish a desire with anticipation”.

Looking at these definitions, I can see why some folks don’t believe in hope or expect that they can feel it. Because hope is an “optimistic state of mind,” so many who have DID struggle because we cannot allow ourselves to ever believe that life will get better. Perhaps you will understand better what hope means to this author.

• Hope helps to get you out of bed in the morning after a tough therapy session.
• Hope allows you to have optimism that you will heal.
• Hope keeps you going even though you want to give up.
• Hope keeps me going to therapy even though I know it is painful.

Yes, hope can mean the difference between being happy or being full of a deep agony that brings you unhappiness.

What Kinds of Hope are There?

While we may think we know what hope is, I have just learned that there are four different types: realistic hope, Utopian hope, Chosen hope, and transcendent hope. Let’s take a look at them.

Realistic hope. This type of hope is the conviction that a desired outcome can happen and is reasonable. It involves getting what is desired and can help people remain resilient when things go south. Realistic hope entails accepting your current situation without self-judgement and taking responsibility for our actions and choices. One also believes they have the ability to control their lives and make goals then actively working toward them.

Utopian hope. This hope involves a belief that a better future is possible if we collaborate with someone else, in our case therapists. It also means working in collaboration with others to have a better future for yourself and others. It is important to form utopian hope with the knowledge that sometimes we will find our expected or desired outcome is unrealistic.

Chosen Hope. Perhaps one of the strongest and most important powers in the universe, chose hope helps us to live in our chaotic present with uncertainty filling our lives. Choosing hope helps us to meet our goals and is essential to overcome negative emotions.

Transcendent hope. This type of hope encompasses having a general feeling of hopefulness not tied to a goal or outcome. Transcendent hope involves existential issues such as the meaning of life, spirituality, and a belief in something greater than ourselves. Having transcendent hope in our lives offers us strength because it helps us to connect to the universe and aids us in finding the meaning of our lives.

Some would argue there are more types of hope, but for this article, these are enough.

Some Methods for Gaining Hope

How on earth do we learn to be hopeful, especially when our lives are in so much turmoil? How can I even bring up the subject of hope while we are suffering not from something we did to ourselves, but because of severe childhood abuse.

I write this piece for those out there who feel all is lost and they will never reach a point where they don’t feel sad and upset.

To form hope one needs to set goals, focus on the positive aspects of our lives, and practice gratitude every day. There are many other things we can do to form hope:

• We should seek out and engage in meaningful activities.
• We must look for opportunities to cultivate relationships with people who believe in us.
• We should actively choose a mindset of hope that looks forward to the future with a strong belief that there will be endless and positive possibilities.

At first, these exercises to gain hope will seem laughable or even like I am lying. However, I tell you that all of the above mentioned will build a sense of hope in you that will grow stronger and stronger as the days pass.

Ending our Time Together

I know this piece is short, but I felt the topic was of great importance. It has taken me many years to learn to hope as I spent so many years feeling pain and not believing I can ever be happy. While I am not ecstatic about my life as it is today, I have hope that it will get better as I age.

Perhaps the best advice I can give in learning to hope for a better future is to remember to remain in the moment accepting yourselves for who you are.

Living in the now is vital to healing and breaks us free from the bondage of our traumatic pasts.

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”
Desmond Tutu

“Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out.” Vaclav Havel

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” Albert Einstein