When DID Becomes Your Identity
Most of those, like me, who have dissociative identity disorder, have a different reality running our lives than singletons. We have the alters and the chaos they cause to deal with as well as the stress of trying our best to heal.
It is easy to see how we get lost sometimes and pay so much attention to our diagnosis that it becomes all we are and what we feel is plain for all to see.
In this article we will discuss our self-narrative and how DID can cloak who we really are.
All of Us Have a Story to Tell
Everyone has a life story; the narrative we cling to as our identity. You grew up on a farm, you might think of yourself as down to earth. In an abusive home, alone and without guidance, our personal story is full of negative connotations of ourselves.
Unfortunately, our brains, just like anyone else’s, cling to the negative parts of our reality and bypass the need to daydream and work on becoming who we could be.
When there are overlaps between identity and the diagnosis of DID, the person strongly identifies with their diagnosis and it shapes who they are and who they become.
Diagnostic Labeling
Giving a person their diagnosis of the problem they have suffered with for years can be life altering. While some people who have a mental illness disorders accept that they have them and get on with therapy, others resist their diagnosis.
The diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder sometimes brings on resistance due to the weirdness of it all, and others allow it to consume you. Being overwhelmed, we often view the diagnosis of DID negatively.
There are some people who believe that offering a person their diagnosis is harming them because of becoming their persona. This happens when a person with DID becomes engulfed and overidentified to the disorder.
It is also true that self-labeling someone can create unfair internal stigma where we label ourselves as damaged goods.
To be clear, no one, and I mean no one, is considered damaged goods. You have done the best you can with the information you have at the moment, so don’t kick yourself for finding yourself hooked on the diagnosis.
Why Would Someone Allow Their Diagnosis to Be Their identity?
The above question has been asked redundantly by therapists and multiples alike. Why would someone allow a diagnosis to become their identity? There are several reasons including having a feeling of belonging to a community and wanting to feel unique or special.
Receiving a diagnosis provides a title or name of the experiences you encounter every day and brings clarity to what you have been experiencing. A diagnosis is a powerful tool when sharing a widespread problem in a group like the DID community.
Another reason multiples sometimes identify with their diagnosis is because there is less stigma and isolation when one belongs to a group. Just knowing that there are other people out there who have the same condition helps to end feelings of shame and isolation.
While the diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder can offer great benefits, it is vital to approach it with care. We, as multiples, should be working toward self-understanding and healing instead of allowing DID to define who we are.
Ending Our Time Together
The entire purpose for this short article is to help those who live, eat, and breathe DID know that they are not alone and they are not broken.
I remember my early days of therapy when I lived in a vacuum or bubble of self-pity and self-identifying completely with my diagnosis. Those were rough days. Until one day, my therapist asked me a question that slowly turned things around.
“Who are you going to be when our work together is done?”
A simple question but it brought some serious soul searching. I hadn’t considered or thought it possible that she and I would part ways. I knew what I was fighting to get well but the thought that I would someday live free and well after my diagnosis felt foreign and strange.
I had no one to guide me except my therapist down the road less taken and that is why I write. I want true information to get out into the world about DID and to help those who have it find the way through the maze of healing.
If you find yourself overidentifying with DID, it’s time to step back, take stock, and allow yourself to be the wonderful person you are.
“There is no knowledge so hard to acquire as the knowledge of how to live this life well and naturally.” – Montaigne
“Think little goals and expect little achievements. Think big goals and win big success.” – David Joseph Schwartz
Expression is so vital when fragmented. Thank you for always expressing such wonderful and informative words.
“This is why I write”. Indeed the clarity I have gained by reading your articles are priceless. This is another example of clarity, compassion and empowerment that your writing brings for me. Thank you!