It has brought to my attention lately by several sources that I am a poor listener.
This bad behavior irritates people, a lot. I’m very opinionated and very passionate about many things. This passion causes me to have a hard time holding myself back in the conversation. In fact, tact and listening are skills I am working very hard to learn.
Change Isn’t Easy.
When adults do as I have been doing, stopping and taking a hard look at ourselves, growth happens. We become better friends, neighbors and compassionate people. We become more sympathetic to other people’s needs and less selfish about our own.
When we are selfish, we harm others and our world. Let’s use my problem for example. If someone in the room has an opinion and I am always cutting them off that person feels angry and put down. The responsibility is mine because I have harmed them.
A New Perspective
In a world of finger-pointing, this may be a new perspective for some.
Just what do you do that harms people?
Do you leave an empty toilet paper roll at home or work because you know someone else will change it?
Do you return your shopping cart at the store, or allow someone else to do it and leave it in the parking lot as a hazard to other drivers?
Do you ever think that the people standing on street corners asking for food are disgusting and it’s not your responsibility to help them?
There is a myriad of different things we do every day that harms others.
Our motivation? We believe we are the most critical person in the room and don’t want to trouble ourselves, deciding whatever is going on is not our problem.
It’s MUST Be Someone Else’s Responsibility.
Unfortunately, this attitude is prevalent in our society today. We instead point fingers at others than to take the necessary actions to change what we see. We would rather offer prayer and condolences after a horrific event than to take any responsibility for what is going on around us.
Who is responsible for the children of our world?
Who is responsible for the hate and discontent that is rampant in the US right now?
More importantly, who can change this attitude and make our world stable and safe?
Someone once said it takes a village to raise a child. I put it to you that the lives of our children and the future of this world aren’t someone else’s responsibility, that it belongs squarely on my shoulders and on those of every adult who lives on planet earth.
What Can We As Individuals Do?
So, what can we do to change the selfishness that is so pervasive in not just the US but the world?
It starts within each of us. An excellent hearty soul-searching never harmed anyone. Stop blaming others for what is going on and examine your role.
Are You Part of the Solution or the Problem?
Do you gossip and spread hate when speaking of the problems facing your government, or do you do something about it?
Have you done anything or given anything to help find the solutions, or do you just sit in your comfort zone and complain?
Do you sit safely in your home and shake your head at the injustice in the world or do you speak up?
I know this may seem to my readers to be irrelevant to Dissociative Identity Disorder the theme of this blog, but it isn’t. As a group, survivors spend a lot of time misbehaving and pointing the finger at those in their past or present who have harmed them. It is never their fault that they did something or said something because they blame it either on an alter or someone who hurt them in the past.
How do I know that? I’ve been there. I’ve pointed my finger so much I now have arthritis in it. No kidding!
We Must Stop Pointing Fingers at Others and Act
I have learned a tough and challenging lesson pertaining to my alters and past. That is that no matter what happens, no matter what I say or do, no matter which alter misbehaves, I am ultimately and endlessly responsible. I have stopped finger-pointing. The power that comes with embracing accountable is enormous and has propelled me into a life I could never have thought possible.
We are in a world of finger pointers. Instead of taking on the responsibility of what is going on in our lives, homes, cities, countries, and world we sit around on our big fat complacency and then criticize when things aren’t going right.
Stop acting like toddlers and start caring about your fellow-man.
Hey, I’m not pointing any finger that I’m not pointing at myself. I too need to stop complaining and griping. I need to put my money and time where my mouth is and humanity before it’s too late.
Humans cannot survive as a species if we do not stop all this childish bullshit and start working together for the common good. We are social creatures endowed with great power to push our species into realms not yet understood, but only as one.
We Can Start Small
We can get our noses out of our phones and greet people in public with a smile.
We can call, write or email our government officials to protest things that we see are not right.
We can exercise our right to vote when someone in office is doing wrong.
WE ARE NOT HELPLESS!!!
I’m not saying that becoming adults and beginning to allow others to have their own opinions will be easy. Nor am I saying that we won’t experience horrendous growing pains. What I am saying is we MUST change the direction is going or face annialation not by outside forces, but from ourselves.
I think the first thing I’m going to do to help is to continue working very hard to change my abuse of others in a conversation. I am going to change my need to control and put others first. I have a deep need to shut up and hear another’s opinion without saying or thinking anything else as they speak. It is important to me to have respect for their opinion whether I agree with or not. Who knows I may learn something by listening to a different point of view.
I think my new motto will be:
“Let it begin with me.”
“How do we find peace when the world seems hopeless?
The journey from war and separation to peace and harmony starts with each of us taking responsibility for ourselves. Our pilgrimage into wholeness requires the courage to look within. Healing arises from an open heart via self-awareness, honesty, acceptance, and compassion. The peace we seek needs each person to step into healing all that has troubled and oppressed our ancestors.
The healing heart of one person affects the whole collective of humanity. We may not realize today, yet in a few years time when we look back, we will be amazed how circumstances magically worked out to take us where we were meant to be.
Let’s rest in gratitude for all that is now, and work together to make it how we wish it could be.
Healing is a journey to wholeness and freedom that exists already. We were born free. Our true nature is peace. And it all begins with me…”
David G. Arenson ND, Australia’s Leading Soul-Coach-Spritual Teacher, and Energy Healer