My Experience with SAD

Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD for short, is a form of major depression that I have experienced all my life. My suffering usually begins around late October and ends in early May. All the time between I feel sluggish, tired, out of sorts, down, and very much unlike myself.

If you knew me in person you wouldn’t recognize me on some days when I’m feeling especially sick from SAD. I’m grouchy and touchy about what is said to me when normally I am very easy going and full of laughter.

Having dissociative identity disorder (DID) makes matters worse. It is during my SAD months that I am the most vulnerable to switching and having someone else take the reigns leading to overspending, overeating, and god knows what else.

I’m sharing this with post with you to perhaps begin a dialogue amongst those who read this blog through the comment section so that we won’t feel so all alone in this situation. I know I could sure use some cheer-filled and hopeful words.

SAD is nothing to ignore as it has the potential to become deadly. It was on a cold day in mid-February in 1995 that I attempted to die by suicide mainly because SAD had attacked and I had not the ability to fight anymore. I had been working very hard on my DID issues and had no fight left. SAD nearly cost me my life.

Now I spend my time trying to get the word out not just about healing from complex trauma and dissociative identity disorder but also about seasonal affective disorder.

Look, I’m not perfect nor am I superwoman. I’m just an average Joe with an extraordinary mental health condition who gets sick every fall until summer. If you were looking for someone with all the answers, you’ve come to the wrong blog. All I can give you here my experience and the facts from the research that I have read.

That is why I am sharing the series I wrote for the CPTSD Foundation about relational trauma, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, and seasonal affective disorder to get out as much information as possible.

We’ll get through the darkness of wintertime in the United States together. If you don’t live here in the states I’m sure you have experience with depression if you live with DID so you understand what and where I am coming from.

You hang in there and so will I.

CPTSD Foundation

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