Life is Fatal
Recently I was asked on a social media platform the following question:
“If there is suffering and death ahead of me, why should I want to live?”
(Author’s note: I’m paraphrasing a bit. I don’t remember the exact question)
I was intrigued that someone would need to ask such a question, then I recognized that this isn’t an unusual query for a human to ask at all. In fact, I would dare say we have all asked this question sometime during our lives, and perhaps many times.
Death is Inevitable
Humans. We spend a large amount of money buying vitamin supplements, facelifts, diets and other more dubious products. The reason? We are trying to defeat the inevitable, death.
It is a plain and simple fact that life is fatal. None of us are getting out of it alive.
I Asked Myself the Opposite Question
So, is the question of why should I live valid? Of course, but I challenged myself long ago to ask the opposite question:
“Is there life and happiness ahead for me? Why should I want to die before I find out?”
I understand all too well, that one who has survived severe childhood trauma is filled with doom and gloom. Why wouldn’t we be? Our young lives were lived in constant fear that for us there would be no tomorrows. We lived doubting we could survive another hour, let alone have a future.
I Was Challenged
However, I was challenged in my therapy, by very carefully crafted questions, to consider what life might be like for me. How would I live and feel if I believed there were good things all around me in the present and in my future life.
At first, I couldn’t allow myself to look beyond the hurt and pain. Just as it had been for me in childhood, I didn’t think there could be anything good ahead. I was convinced that only pain and sorrow lay ahead.
Wasn’t it inevitable that I would die someday? Why should I struggle to live if I had no power over sickness, aging, and death?
One Day I Opened My Eyes
Then one day I opened my eyes and suddenly noticed the beauty all about me. There was laughter, music, and many experiences I had always blown off as ordinary. Now I saw them as life-giving encounters that shone through the darkness of my bleak thinking. I turned my face toward the sun, felt its warmth and rejoiced.
I also recognized the ugliness in the world. There is poverty, evil, and greed those things cannot be denied. But to allow myself to only see the horror and never see the joy, that was robbing myself of enjoying my life.
The fact that we are all on the same journey, from birth to death, should offer each of us some consolation. I’m on my journey, and you are on yours, but the end result will be the same.
How Can We Reconcile the Inevitability of Our Own Deaths?
- Love everyone with a love that cannot be denied
- Be selfless whenever possible without ignoring our own needs
- Laugh long and often
- Accept life on life’s terms not forcing our way through it but enjoying every moment
- Give away our love and our inspiration to everyone we meet
- Love, love, love, love
Yes, life is fatal, but oh the life that can be lived before it comes!
My New Year’s Advice for You
“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.” Bradley Whitford
Happy New Year Everyone!!!
May you find peace in your hearts in the coming year and make the resolution to enjoy every moment of the coming year!
Hello I am part of a system that has just come through one of the worst years of the host’s life. We are part of a family where three of the four members have been through MK ultra programming and SRA. Two of us are getting therapy but the third one is not and is in the middle of a massive breakdown and all at the same time is in major denial that anything is wrong. So, my question to you is, our trauma is not just compartmentalized to childhood but is ongoing. What can you say to us who are still going through it? We’ve only been working on healing for the past couple of years but it is like trying to bail out a leaky boat, ha! The past two years have felt like hell on earth with the memory work and the current home situation. We have parts that think it is not worth going on as how can things change and get better. What are your thoughts? If you would prefer to email instead of commenting here we would be open to that. Thank you.
Hi Julie and all. We have been where you all are now. It looks so dark and terrifying that you probably wish every day that life was over. I understand. I’ve almost died four times getting to where I am. It is a long, hard road to peace. I am a living breathing proof that there is an end to all the horrendous pain and sorrow.
I would be honored to email with you. My address is sdavis8966@hotmail.com
I am not a therapist, but I have a ton of lived experience with healing. The whole purpose I write my blog, speak in public, and write books is to help others through the darkness of the maze of therapy. Man, the pain is bad but once you get through some of it, you will find I am not just whistling into the wind. Life is a beautiful adventure.
Thank you for reading my blog.
Shirley
The finding of meaning, in the midst of chaos and pain, is life’s great challenge, ultimately. I am remembering Albert Camus’ famous comment, found in his “The Myth of Sisyphus” – “There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide” – i.e., whether or not to bring the absurdity to an end.
In deciding not to, everything changes. Getting to that decision, after having gotten to the question, is what can take a great deal of work, and may require help. I think it vital that we remain connected to each other, so that when one of us falls, others can notice and reach out to help. Knowing we are not alone is a critical piece of deciding to live.