Yep, Christmas is Here Again
Here we are again, it’s Christmas time. I understand that many of you reading this piece live in an emotional hell during this season. On top of the holidays it is winter with the dark skies and gloomy days that seem to permeate your soul.
It is very possible that you are estranged from your family of birth and feel lonelier than ever at this time of year. So, you don’t fight the crowds buying presents and you certainly don’t go singing Christmas carols.
In this piece, I’m going to try very hard to respectfully help you if not to ho ho ho then to have at least a decent Christmas
The Unfortunate Truth
This time of year there is a lot of grief that comes up from inside. Past hurts and the memories of those events tend to throw cold water on the moods of some devastating their Christmas.
The dark and unfortunate truth is that many children will be facing a lonely and abusive holiday. These children may stuff emotions that accompany sexual, emotional, and physical abuse down deep in their psyche. If they are forced to do so enough, they will form dissociative identity disorder and the others will develop another mental illness.
Well, now you are an adult still facing the dreadful emotional soup that was your childhood Christmas’. But, as an adult you now have the power to, not change what happened so long ago, but to endeavor to remake Christmas into something special.
How to Change the Narrative
There are many ways to enhance your enjoyment of the holidays. One way is to force yourself to decorate. Put up those lights and consider getting a tree. Another way is to spend Christmas with your family of choice. Families of choice are friends, co-workers, and anyone else who puts a smile on your face.
Watch parades on television and, if you have a fireplace, build a nice roaring fire. Do what it takes for you to be comfy cozy by claiming Christmas as your day.. Don’t forget to buy yourself some nice gifts but don’t make them all things you need. Christmas is what you make it. I’m sure you’ve heard that saying before; but it’s true, if you make Christmas a lousy holiday, you’ll be miserable. If, on the other hand, you make your Christmas full of new memories and new traditions, your holiday will be at least tolerable.
Find ways to make Christmas the special day. Do things you like or plan a trip to someplace you’ve been wanting to go. The family of birth? Well, they’ll have to accept your decisions whether they like them or not. Be truthful and tell them you do not feel comfortable around the family and have chosen to spend Christmas alone.
My Favorite Christmas
Now, may I tell you of my favorite Christmas of all time? One year, when I worked in a nursing home, I was not looking forward to being with my birth family. I felt so grieved when I was together with them and I just wanted to hide. Then one afternoon they were looking for a certified nurse’s assistant to volunteer to work Christmas Day. I was certified so I jumped at the opportunity to miss going to my mom’s for the holidays.
I worked not only Christmas Day but also Christmas Eve and had the best
Christmas I’ve ever had. I put the residents to bed feeling warm and fuzzy inside as I sang Christmas carols to them. We had some people who couldn’t sleep so we danced with them around the nurse’s station until they got tired to holiday tunes on a radio.
The next day I greeted each resident with a smile and a Merry Christmas. I was bone tired, but I knew that some of the older folks (we had several who were over 100 years old) had no family left having outlived their friends and family.
It was the best Christmas I ever had because the residents had become my family of choice and I made new memories for both me and them. I wish I could share the magic I felt that night in words, but I can’t. I was happy and it felt wonderful.
Other Things You Can Do
You can volunteer to visit a nursing home resident, a homeless person, or even a prisoner inmate to make your next memories. If not, you can still volunteer where they are serving Christmas dinner. My biggest suggestion to all who read this is to get outside yourself and for just one glorious day lay aside your past. Take a child’s name from a department store Christmas list and go crazy giving them a great Christmas. I always took an entire family of kids to make it fair.
Just as I stated before, the Holidays are what you make them. Yes, the abuse and neglect we received from our family of birth instead of the love you deserved was horrible; however, we are adults now and it is up to us to make Christmas bright
To all my readers I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and a prosperous New Year.
2026 here we come.
I had two close friends come and put my tree up with me. The holidays are so hard.
It’s strange but I find having Christmas at my own home puts me in charge of who I let in and don’t. I also like that in my home I can cook the food I know that won’t make me sick and I am familiar with what rooms are here and are not. This gives me more control over my own home and how long I want it to last and what we do. I quit doing what everyone else wanted yrs ago. Makes holidays a lot more fun.
Thank you, Shirley! My best christmas was the one where I decided that I was going to let my little kids decorate the tree ANY WAY they wanted! I watched every lopsided, mismatched etc. decoration on the tree with glee, knowing my mom wasn’t there to tell anybody it was wrong, and afterward I looked every day at the “wrongly decorated” tree knowing that I was treating myself and my children with all the dignity I should have had from my mother. It was a Christmas of peace and so were all subsequent Christmases since. – sending wishes for a peaceful, joyful and fun Christmas to you, and everybody here!
There you go! Helping others including the inside people makes Christmas a lot more palpable. Good job!
Thanks for sharing the story about your best Christmas. 😊 Our best Christmas was last year because we had saved up some money all through the year to be able to buy gifts for a child who had a card on the Salvation Army Angel Tree at a store we shop at. We had noticed as we passed the tree over the course of a few weeks that only the cards for the little kids were being taken and the ones for the older kid and teens were all still there. On the day we picked to do our Angel Tree gift shopping, there was a teenage girl’s card that was hanging almost hidden toward the back of the tree, and that’s the one we picked. We had so much fun finding things for that young lady that were listed on the card (mostly needed clothing items)! We had a little bit of money left after buying the clothing, and the card had a note that she liked “Hello Kitty”, so we searched the store and found a poster, a stuffed animal, and a few other “Hello Kitty” items for her. We also got a couple large Christmas gift bags to put everything into. At home, we made an extra copy of the Angel Tree tag with the young lady’s information so each bag was tagged for her, then delivered it all to the local Salvation Army office. It was so much fun and it made us feel so good and so happy knowing that a young teenage girl was going to have some nice things for Christmas! It was like we had been able to do something for her that we wish someone had done for us when we were that age and when we were poor and didn’t have anything, including not having enough food to eat most of the time.
This year we don’t have the extra money to do the Angel Tree again because we had a lot of extra medical expenses during the year. But we are doing one thing for our “inside” little girls that they have been wanting for many years. We found a Holly Hobbie doll that is in really good condition that someone was selling. We had one as a child that the bio-dad took from us and threw away. We have been trying to find another one in good condition (not stained, torn, etc,) for years, and finally did. It’s supposed to arrive today! 😀 Our little girls are SO excited!! Our boys are getting some modeling clay that only dries when you bake it in the oven. They will have fun with it.
We hope your Christmas and new years holidays are filled with happy memories for you!
Reba & kids