Dormant Alters
You have lived with alters all your life and heard their voices in your mind, then boom! The voices go silent. What you may be experiencing is alter dormancy.
What is alter dormancy, and how can you cope when the voices go silent? This article will attempt to describe just that.
No Scientific Proof
First, let me state that there is no scientific evidence or proof to back up what I am about to write about. What I am about to share comes from personal experience and from reading the writings of others.
If you need scientific evidence, I’m afraid there is none. But I put it to you that all psychiatry is self-reported, with only a few having been scientifically proven to exist.
There are fMRI studies that can show switching in multiples compared to those who are pretending dissociative identity disorder but not for hard proof that alters go dormant.
Can Alters Die or Go Dormant
Alters in a dissociative system CANNOT die unless you do. They are all you and you them, so what happens to one happens to all. It may FEEL like alters have died, but it is a physical impossibility. That’s why integration does not kill or silence alters because the alters will always be part of you no matter what.
Can alters go dormant? Absolutely. The sudden or gradual silencing of the voices and activities of the others may die down to a dull roar or become silent all together.
However, a dormant alter is like a dormant volcano. A dormant volcano is one that has gone silent for many years, sometimes thousands of years. However, under the correct set of circumstances, the dormant volcano can roar to life again.
Dormant alters act the same as dormant volcanoes. They may become silent for days or even years, but because they still exist, they will, under the right circumstances, make themselves known one day.
To Awaken an Alter or Not
The decision to awaken an alter from their dormancy must be well thought out as there can be no doubt, but that alters can bring chaos to a system. However, if you find you cannot live without an alter, communication is key.
Go to your safe place in your mind and invite that alter to listen. Tell them that you love them and need them to come out of their slumber. Someone on Tumblr reported that she was rejoined by her alter, whom she had missed terribly within a moment.
However, think long and hard on your decision as dormant alters is often a sign of growth and healing. I have many alters in my system who have gone dormant because I no longer need their help and trust me to handle life for all of my system.
Dormant alters might mean you no longer need their services, and although you might feel lonely for them, it is vital to acknowledge your growth and theirs.
How to Cope When an Alter Goes Dormant
Sadness is normal when acknowledging that an alter, or a set of alters has gone dormant. Here are six coping skills that will aid in your grieving.
Remember. Remember, the dormant alter is not dead.
Acknowledge. Acknowledge the alters have not left but just gone dormant.
Allow the tears to flow. You are grieving over a part of yourself that feels it no longer is needed for you to survive. By allowing yourself to weep, you begin to heal from this unexpected event.
Celebrate. Have a small party to celebrate the alters retirement while letting them know that you understand they are still present. You might even have cake and ice cream to celebrate the birth of the new you.
Give yourself some time. Having an alter go dormant feels weird and maybe even painful. Give yourself room and time to adjust to your new circumstances.
Talk to your therapist. Let your therapist know your concerns and how you feel about the alter going dormant. He/she can help you come to terms with the change.
Like with any life change, it takes time to adjust and to feel safe again.
In Closing
Losing alters to dormancy sounds horrible at first, but I know from experience that one becomes accustomed and even grateful for the silence after adjusting to the new arrangement.
I’ve had many alters go silent over the time I’ve been working on my DID issues, and I always feel stronger, not weaker, because their knowledge has been absorbed into my whole self.
With enough trauma or stress, my dormant alter will come out of retirement and once again do their best to protect me, but I’m hoping that doesn’t happen. My alters have endured enough stress, and it makes me happy that they now feel it is safe to relax and go dormant.
“Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.” – Tori Amos
“The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.” – Caroline Myss
I’m a system and the core/host went dormant or what we assume anyway. They haven’t been active in months and we don’t feel any sort of connection to them. We’ve started feeling very dissociated and almost disconnected with ourselves when we front. This is really confusing and frustrating because it’s like one of us can never fully be in front. Is this because our core went dormant?
It could be but all DID systems are different. If you don’t have a therapist I’d advise you to get one. They can help you navigate among the others. Shirley
I have a friend who has DID in my aa support group. HE told me he has 3 primary and 19 fragment altars. I have met at least 6 of him. It seems as if the non primary parts are now chairing meetings and he has gone dormant. They are chaotic and seem younger. He is avoiding me and I am giving him space. Is it possible he is fusing instead of being dormant? Feeling helpless. When he chairs he signs the book. Every signature is different.
First of all, thank you for caring for your friend. Multiples need all the friends they can get. It sounds like your friend is trying to run away from you because you are getting closer. Yes, he probably does have different signatures. Anyway, no, I doubt if he has fused (integrated) it is much more likely he went dormant. Just be there when he needs a shoulder to lean on. Shirley
I’m diagnosed DID by my T and psychiatrist, but I think I’m actually more Osdd. Anyway, an alter that had a certain purpose for being created, she realized that her job was actually impossible to do, and she became so distraught that she said she didn’t want to live anymore, and then last night she just disappeared. She had taken on some other roles lately, though, and now my system is scrambling and shifting around, it feels chaotic and awful. So I’m trying to figure out, if her original purpose is not a possibility anymore, will she come back? She was one of the more stable alters compared to the others…
I apologize for taking so long to answer you.
That alter isn’t gone, she’s gone dormant for a while. Alters cannot leave, they are you and you are them. However, they can pull back and refuse to communicate because of being overwhelmed. There is nothing you can do that will make her become active again, they have to want to come back into the front.
As host, I’m assuming that is who wrote me, you have the power to hold things together and lead the others. You just have to want to first. Someone has to lead, and it appears that’s you. Don’t panic, accept your role and learn from the others the skills they hold for you.
In the meantime, try to relax and allow your system to adjust without judgment for how well they do it.
Shirley
Thank you, Shirley- I needed to hear that.
Hey! I’m the co-host of our system and our host got dormant. The problème is we depend pretty much on him and yh, it’s only been a week but some of us are stressed of of taking care of he’s school and all, is there any way to take him out of dormancy or something? It would be really useful to get some advices about this.
Unfortunately, there is no way to force a part to come out of dormancy. Be patient and brave your host will return. Shirley
Hello I am Hilke and I am really confused about my situation.
So I was doing research on the topic of DID and OSDD. I felt some things line up as I realized there was someone other than me talking to me since I would say 4 years. I was thrown off by not having any amnesia in my day to day life. I know that I experienced trauma as a child over a long period of time but it is hard for me to remember details and some events are completely gone from my memory.
My point is for a few months I was pretty much convinced I had some kind of dissociative dissorder and I found more alters. One persecutor insisted the whole time that we would just fake or imagine all of this. And now for two months after an event I can’t reach anybody. Sometimes the persecutor I mentioned still talks to me, but what if they are right and I was just imagining all of this?
I am pretty convinced I just accidently made all of this up and I did believe in it, but it must have been imagination. I shared all of this with my partner and they are convinced all of this was real and I was not accidently faking. I just don’t know what to believe anymore.
If anybody knows anything I would really appreciate your help <3
You must contact a mental health professional to work through this stuff. That is especially true if you have DID. Don’t believe everything you see on YouTube or other social media sites. DID is not what they portray 9 chances out of 10. If you want to read up on it go to the ISSTD site https://www.isst-d.org/resources/dissociation-faqs/ or other reputable sites like psychology today where you can search on the topic. I hope I have helped even just a little. If you have questions, my email address is on the about page. Shirley
hi. i’m jeremy, i’m part of an OSDD-1b system. i think our host just went dormant and i am very distraught. we genuinely need her right now. and i know that sounds selfish but she is very important to me and the rest of our system. we’re all currently panicking because the last time she went dormant it was for years and we barely made it without her. i’m not sure what to do.
First stop panicking. They are still there with you just quiet. Take some deep breaths and ground yourself. You CAN make it because you and they are the same person. It’s going to be okay. I’ve been where you are and understand. Have you a therapist you work with? They can help you cope. Shirley
Hi. So my background is that i started to have alters appear after completely removing myself from society and past abusive homes. I found my safe place within myself and environment, and it was like whack a mole with personalities. I didnt have a therapist working with me and my alters were very timid. Is it possible for persecutors and protectors, to force dormancy to a majority of alters? As in you stated your experience was dormancy through growth, can it also be the opposite direction?
Hope to hear from you as i see this is from 2021🤞
I can see how after therapy and working on yourself having an alter go dormant is something to celebrate. My loved ones entire system (30+ alters) went dormant very suddenly just three months after acknowledging them all. They are in complete denial that their system exists and insist they must have been faking it but I know what I experienced with them. On one hand this feels unhealthy but on the other I don’t want to stir shit up. Any help is greatly appreciated
It sounds like those parts of you are frightened because they are facing the trauma you survived again. That’s understandable. You are in denial because they are all you only they are caught in trauma-time. Be good to yourself and take it slow. Treat the alters as though they are not dormant by talking to them and reminding them you will never allow them to be hurt again. I hope this helps some. You can always email me. sdavis8966@hotmail.com Shirley
What if the apparent host goes dormant? This has happened to my ex, and now my current partner. He’s been dormant 3 months after our seriously ill pet disappeared and died. Im told dormancy isnt always a choice, and that depersonalization can cause an amnesiac state to the one experiencing it. Are there other ways to trigger it, safely?
Depersonalization isn’t a choice any more than dormancy is I’m afraid. There are no “safe” ways to trigger depersonalization or any other mental health problem. Your partner may or may not have their dormant horse return. Any way you look at it, the host has gone nowhere in reality as all the alters are one person. It’s going to be okay. Shirley
Hey, me again… Sorry to bother you. I decided not to go dormant like you said, things got better, but most of the system went dormant. I don’t know if it was because of what was going on and it was too much or if they felt unneeded, but it’s safe now and I want them to come back. I know you shouldn’t wake up a dormant alter and I know it’s selfish but I realized I need them more than they need me, I just don’t feel like myself without them and I don’t know what to do. Should I try to bring them back or not?
If your alters have fused, they will not come back in the sense you are thinking. They are still there. They have just become part of who you are in a greater sense than before. I don’t think there is any way to force a dormant alter to return. I would try to find peace in the situation you find yourself in now. You CAN go forward without the help of alters. It is difficult at first, but you can do it. Please, don’t hesitate to email me. sdavis8966@hotmail.com I am not a professional, just a person with lived experience.
Good afternoon, my name is The Auditor but you can call me Aud or Auditor. We lost our host a day ago and me and my partner we’re devastated. We saw them as our own child and had to protect them at all costs. We really miss them and I had to fill in even though I am not really good with hosting. I know that we have to wait or try to do something but we can’t in these conditions. Do you know something that could help us get them out of dormancy? Or something that we could tell them to get them out of dormancy besides telling them that we love them a lot and we’d love them to come back?
Thank you a lot.
~Aud
That alter that went dormant is a part of you and you are them. Had to say that before I began. There are no tricks to getting an alter out of dormancy I’m afraid. If you are in therapy, ask your T what they think you should do. I can tell you from personal experience that when an alter goes dormant it sometimes means they have fused with the whole. In other words, you may be experiencing final fusion. FF happens spontaneously for most multiples and this could be the case here. I’m no expert I only have lived experience and have read numerous papers on DID. Please feel free to email me if you need more assistance. sdavis8966@hotmail.com Shirley
My friend is a system. And I’m dating an alter who just went dormant. Did I do something wrong for that to happen. And is there any way I can bring her back
The alter you love is still there just as the entire person. The alters all are pieces of your friend. You did nothing wrong. Alters go dormant on their own. There is also nothing you can do to prompt the alter to return. I’m sorry you are going through this. Take care of yourself first and perhaps the alter will reemerge.
My name is Blue. Today we lost our host, Sin, to dormancy. We need them to come out because there are only six of us including Sin. Sin is the only one who knows how to host and they can not leave front so they are the only one we can depend on. None of us like them, in fact, we all hate them, but we need them to continue hosting. They are not done with their job because we are still struggling immensely and we need them back.
First of all, if I thought my head mates hated me I’d go dormant too. To heal you must accept that you are all one person and to hate one is to hate all.
Second, although it may get rough for a while one of the others in your system will need to lead with the intention of all being equal and fair to each other.
Bottom line, you are one person who didn’t associate properly in early childhood and the closer you draw together the less chaos you will encounter. Shirley
Hi , recently my 16yr old daughter told me about her alters, before this time I never saw anything that could raise concerns. I took her to the therapist and she diagnosed DID but its moderate. I want to know is there anything like moderate DID?Secondly all her alters have as she says left her brain frame for almost a week now. Is that OK? She is not too worried apparently but yes little concerned. She is finding it hard to focus on school work. Her therapist has suggested that the trauma that caused this support system to activate was three years ago, lastly I want to know if these signs show that her alters are feeling it safe to retire, because as much as I whole heartedly accept these alters I am proud of her amazing strength and I want to know if she will have a normal life.
DID isn’t normally formed after the age of 9 so I was surprised to hear that her therapist gave her the diagnosis. Anyway it sounds like she is going to be okay. She sounds strong and you should be proud of her. Although I’m not a mental health professional I think she’ll grow and heal just fine.
is there a way to get an alter to come back? my friend is the host of a DID system, and he went dormant yesterday. one of the people somewhat “filling” in for him is an alcoholic and could put the body in danger. I miss my friend, and I don’t know how long he will be gone for and if he will ever come back.
There is nothing you can do but be there for your friend. You can call their therapist with your concerns but that is it. I’m sorry to have to tell you such bad news. You take care of yourself. Write me an email if you want. Shirley
Hi there, I might be on the wrong page but is it possible for more than one host? My “friends” host went dormant, and there’s another host filling in, and I’m wondering if that’s possible?
Yes it is very possible.
I’m the host of a DID traumagenic system and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about going dormant. Everyone else in the system has been relying on me for a really long time, but it’s really stressful and everything I try to do to cope has become unhealthy. I’m scared that if I do go dormant something very bad will happen. I’m scared who it might affect, inside and out of the system. There is one person who I trust to take the spot as the host when I’m gone, but if I ever do need to come back, is there a way for her to bring me back for sure?
Since you are the host the one to whom everyone depends if you go dormant your system will be in real danger. There’s no way to guarantee you can come back or what mess you might find if you do. Please reconsider and keep working on it. I know firsthand how hard it is to be the leader of a system but someone must lead and you are the best one to do it since you have been leading. If you want to talk more contact me at my email address. sdavis8966@hotmail.com
Shirley’s advice is always super – i want to say that first. she is one of two people that i will checkin with with what’s up. I recently had this happen over, i finally realized the last year and i was really concerned about all the others. I spent a very foggy emotional year (that had been triggered by life events) and i believe brought this change. I checked in with everyone, the protectors the ones who volunteer fronting the most to find out if someone was prepared and equipped to take the job as host -It’s an important and difficult job. With me i have one, and 2 to 4 other s that will come up to help her. –good healing
ok so i have some friends who are all a part of one system, and their host is dormant atm, and they described it as “the whole system is on lockdown”. they say its like a lot of chaos going on atm because of it, what can the system do?
When a system goes dormant, the only thing to do is to wait and discuss how they are feeling honestly with their therapist if they have one. They might also try having a party for her system that may jar at least a few into existence again.
Shirley
I’ve done that – having a party for them to get things happening. i have a bookcase with all sorts of stuff on it and we do alot of T-shirt paint art. This kind of this really helps – if everyone got super quiet my first thing is ‘is someone upset’ -becaues it’s our nature to shut up and be invisible because it’s what we learned -Doing artwork to find out or encourage thoughs and worries to come out is really great
Hello our system is kind of new and I’ve been trying to do as much research as I can because it’s I do not have a official diagnosis and there was a split recently and we are not sure if we should fuse them together again or not what should we do?
First try to get an official diagnosis. Then allow your therapist to guide you. Fusion may occur spontaneously but after you have dealt with the emotional trauma that caused the split on the first place.
so recently, my friend who has did, their other alters cant sense one who just disappeared. does that mean the alter went dormant?
Most likely.
There have been times when I thought an alter was dormant, but they actually integrated. I realized this when I had new likes and dislikes and their memories. I’ve also found that dormant alters will sometimes integrate or join another alter for a time, testing the waters so to speak.
Hey, why would an alter choose to go dormant… I have an online friend with DID and am friends with other alters as well. Hes the host but an alter messaged me “he told me to tell me he loves you and you will be the first to know when he is out again” implying he chose to go dormant- Is it a response to stress? i cant find much research on this specific situation :/
Alters go dormant for many reasons including being content and being under stress. It’s not uncommon at all. I hope that answers your question. Shirley
This is incredibly helpful. I am so thankful I found this site.
I have been so upset by alters going silent and not knowing what to do. I will go to my safe place and do as you suggest. It will be difficult to accept the changes but you have given us a new way to look at things. One thing that will be hard though is that some of these alters have had relationships with aan outside person who will have difficulty too if those relationships change. So it will be a struggle and there will be a lot of grief.
But you are right they deserve to rest if that is what is needed and since we love them we want what is best for them.Comment
I’m so glad I helped you! Thank you for the comment. Shirley
Hi. So my background is that i started to have alters appear after completely removing myself from society and past abusive homes. I found my safe place within myself and environment, and it was like whack a mole with personalities. I didnt have a therapist working with me and my alters were very timid. Is it possible for persecutors and protectors, to force dormancy to a majority of alters? As in you stated your experience was dormancy through growth, can it also be the opposite direction?
Hope to hear from you as i see this is from 2021🤞
Hi. Yep, I’m still here. I’ve learned that anything is possible with DID. I’ve heard others say that their protectors etc. have taken control of the others so it seems reasonable that they can force dormancy. Do you have a therapist now? If not, you should because healing from DID is a long commitment and an advocate who can be with you through the process is definitely needed. I wish you well. Don’t be afraid to email me if you have more questions. sdavis8966@hotmail.com
Shirley
We are a system that is fairly new to this whole thing and we know another system in which one of the alters went dormant which then caused the host of our system to also go dormant, The main big problem is that the host has a major crush on the other system’s alter and they want to be with them, this recent thing happening is causing our host to go into hiding. We want to try and get both of them back, and be able to be with that alter along with the rest of them in either relationship or friendship
any advice? Our instagram is _arin22_ if you have any way to reach out to us, that would be helpful.
Thanks and hope to hear from someone soon,
Artemis
Hi Arin. I’m not sure what to say as I’ve never found myself in these circumstances. It may be better to allow yourself to drift away from that other person because a relationship between two people who have DID would be difficult at best and impossible at worst. Those may seem harsh words but I believe in being honest. It is critical to work on your own healing and I think you will find that if you do your host will return indeed your whole system can begin the road to healing. Shirley
is there any way to force an alter to go dormant
Not that I’ve ever found. Shirley
Hi , i was thinking about how many times i have seen someone ask how to make an alter go dormant and the experiences of 3 friends came to mind that they attempted to do that in their way – the entire system became erratic . this is sort of a manipulative thing to do; which is part of a client’ s situation with abusers. I’m not a doctor, just another person with DID, but i am fortunate to have a very co-perative system, with very little troubles. i can’t say it’s always been so, but became so with the compassion care towards Everyone in the group. I hope this is helpful. I just had my main legal name person go dormant, and i found that until i spoke to close friends; and kept checking in with ‘everyone’ That things didn’t feel calm until we acknowledged that Eri needs to sleep- she is done. Be happy for her hard work and move on with healing.
This “Go to your safe place in your mind and invite that alter to listen. Tell them that you love them and need them to come out of their slumber.” hit like a ton of bricks and caused tears in my eyes. Thank you for sharing it. We are going to be talking like this.
So, I could really use some advice. We broke up with the guy we were dating and ever since there has been very little activity with my alters. The system wasn’t okay with the decision and a lot of alters were hurt in the process. We are actually back together with the guy now. But I think there are only three alters that have been out in a the last couple months. I don’t know what to do… I’m feeling absolutely completely lost. It feels like the system isn’t even there anymore even though I know it is. How do I handle this situation?
It sounds like your alters went dormant for a while. They are still there listening and observing just quiet. Don’t worry and allow them time. You cannot force the issue. I hope I helped. Shirley